


let me photograph you in this light

by JulietInConverse



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, but we all know how it ends, hhh little bit painful at the end, set between you happened and tbty, so its fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:34:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29498118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JulietInConverse/pseuds/JulietInConverse
Summary: Emma slipped from her seat on the bed, Alyssa watching as she padded over to her desk, gesturing to her polaroid.“Can I?” Emma asked, her voice almost a whisper.“Why?” Alyssa found herself asking, before she could even think it through. “I mean, of course, but… why?”Emma smiled, the expression soft but almost pained. “In case it’s the last time we’re here.”
Relationships: Alyssa Greene/Emma Nolan
Comments: 22
Kudos: 37





	let me photograph you in this light

**Author's Note:**

> yall can thank @ifthebookdoesntsell for consistently keeping me motivated w fics

“Well, that film was just as terrible as I had hoped.” Emma laughed, shutting her laptop as the credits began to roll, holding it out to Alyssa.

“I have to say, I think we’re getting good at picking out which rom coms are the worst just by the title and poster alone.” Alyssa placed the laptop on the bedside table before snuggling back into Emma’s embrace, smiling up at her.

“God, you’re beautiful.” Emma whispered suddenly, breathless, as if it was the first time she had ever seen Alyssa. 

Every time Emma laid eyes on her, it was a moment of such familiarity but not one Alyssa would ever get used to.

Every time Emma got to look at Alyssa, truly look at her, without having to dart her eyes away to avoid suspicion, it was a moment of such wonder and pure bliss. 

Allowing her gaze to roam across Alyssa’s face, Emma’s heart beating faster as she looked into Alyssa’s kind eyes, at her button nose, at the perfect bow of her lips.

The flush on Alyssa’s cheeks that followed Emma’s confession, words she had heard a million times before and would hear a million times more, only made her more beautiful. 

“You’re ridiculous.” Alyssa shook her head fondly as she brushed off the compliment, eyes downcast.

“Maybe.” Emma conceded, smiling. “But you are beautiful.” 

Alyssa glanced up, feeling the raw honesty in Emma’s words. “You really think so?” Alyssa felt silly asking Emma such a question, but Emma didn’t even flinch.

“The most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” A rosy tint appeared on Emma’s own cheeks, though there was no doubt that she meant every word she was saying, not that Alyssa could doubt it anyway.

Not when Emma looked at her like that, not when all Emma had ever asked of her was to let herself be loved.

They fell into silence, but it wasn’t empty. It never was.

Their silences were thick with an innocent desire for closeness, even as they held each other as close as they were able to.

Their silences were heavy with everything that waited for them outside of their haven, outside of their stolen moments together and their whispered confessions.

Emma slipped from her seat on the bed, Alyssa watching as she padded over to her desk, gesturing to her polaroid.

“Can I?” Emma asked, her voice almost a whisper.

“Why?” Alyssa found herself asking, before she could even think it through. “I mean, of course, but… why?”

Emma smiled, the expression soft but almost pained. “In case it’s the last time we’re here.”

“Emma...” Alyssa started, sitting up, her brow furrowed. 

“I just don’t want to lose you,” Emma admitted. “All I want is to dance with you. I can’t -” She exhaled shakily. “I don’t want something to go wrong and for us to forget how we are now.”

“Emma,” Alyssa scooted to the edge of the bed, reaching her hand out for Emma to hold, glad when she accepted it. “No matter what happens with the PTA and these crazy Broadway actors, I am going to dance with you at prom. We’re getting the night we deserve and I,” She pulled Emma closer, looking up at her from where she sat. “I am not going anywhere.”

Emma gazed down at her, her eyes filled with love and longing. “Have I ever told you how much I love you, Alyssa?”

“Everyday.” Alyssa smiled softly. “I love you too.”

Emma tugged Alyssa to her feet, lessening the distance between them. “Remind me to tell you more.” She whispered.

“However shall I cope?” Alyssa teased, her voice still quiet.

Emma tilted Alyssa’s chin up gently, eyes dropping to her lips for a moment, both girls’ eyes drifting closed as their lips connected, every kiss they shared feeling like an unsaid “I love you”.

Even in their moments alone, every confession of love shared felt secret, still whispered between them, as if scared someone would invade their sanctuary.

“How about that picture then?” Alyssa pulled away, reaching for the camera.

Emma pulled her in for another kiss, wrapping her arms around Alyssa’s waist, Alyssa’s free hand resting against her cheek, the two smiling into the kiss as they heard the click of the polaroid. 

Parting, Emma pressed her lips against Alyssa’s temple, sighing against her skin as Alyssa rested against her, fiddling with the new photo.

They watched as the photo developed, their figures illuminated by the fairy lights hanging on the walls of Emma’s room. 

Emma grinned, almost overwhelmed by her love for the girl in her arms. “Perfect.”

“Hm…” Alyssa stepped away from Emma, much to her girlfriend’s dismay. “Now one of you.”

“What?” Emma laughed. “Why would I need a photo of myself, love?” 

“It’s not for you, is it?” Alyssa playfully rolled her eyes, as if it were obvious. “It’s for me.”

“Wait, but what if your mom finds it?” Emma’s brow furrowed, both confused and concerned. 

Alyssa sighed, almost exasperated. “Prom is soon. I can hide a small photo until then. But after that? I’m not hiding my feelings for you anymore. No matter what my mom thinks.” Before Emma could comment, whether in support or not, Alyssa continued. “Smile for the camera?” She asked.

Emma paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before granting Alyssa’s wish, beaming at the girl behind the camera, rather than the lens itself. 

“You’re so pretty.” Alyssa said before clicking the camera, timing it perfectly to capture the blush on Emma’s face as a result of her words. 

“Was that necessary, Lys?” Emma buried her face in the crook of Alyssa’s neck, flustered.

“Oh, it was absolutely necessary.” Alyssa giggled as Emma’s embrace tightened. “And very true.” She beamed as she felt Emma smile against her skin. 

They stood holding each other, in silence again, though this felt lighter, as if everything outside of their embrace simply didn’t exist, wasn’t something for them to worry about anymore.

“We’ll be okay, right?” 

“Of course.” Emma assured her. 

She didn’t know what she would do if they weren’t.

Not long after stepping into an empty gym, heart full of hope, Emma would find herself gazing at that picture again, the warmth and safety it brought her made bitter by all the lies they had been fed, by the panicked words exchanged over the crackly speaker of Emma's phone as she stood in the gym, feeling more alone than she had before.

She ignored the photo after that, looking at it only once more after returning home with a broken heart, remembering the silence that had fallen between her and Alyssa when she finally gave in to the pressure, to everything trying to stop them. 

The worst part somehow hadn't been the shakiness of Alyssa's voice as she had asked if Emma meant what her words implied, hopeful yet knowing, or the tears she had glimpsed tracking a trail down Alyssa's cheeks, or the heaviness she felt as she turned and walked away from Alyssa Greene.

It was the empty silence. For once, there was nothing between them but heartbreak.

After a visit to Barry, she had returned home, sitting on her bed, taking a moment to breathe.

She couldn't help it as her gaze drifted over to the polaroid picture she had propped up beside her bed. Her eyes had tracked over the slope of Alyssa's jaw, the rosy colour of her cheeks, the curve of her smile, then onto her own smile.

(She did all this, unaware of Alyssa doing the same across town to her own photo that she had hidden among her things, tear streaked cheeks and heart heavy with regret.)

Emma was going to tell her story, even without Alyssa by her side telling her story too. 

But Alyssa was so important to hers, their journeys inextricably linked, lives interwoven by some universal force Emma couldn't name.

Emma didn't have to tell her story without Alyssa.

She just had to tell it to her.

Grabbing a notepad and her guitar, Emma started to scrawl away, scribbling words that seemed to flow from her heart into her hand. 

Within a matter of hours, Emma sat back, reading over the paper once more before noting down a title: Unruly Heart.

She took a deep breath, steeling her nerves, mustering all the shattered shards of hope in her heart as she opened her laptop and clicked record.

"Hello interweb. Okay. Well. My name is Emma Nolan; I'm a 17 year old girl and I'm a lesbian. Maybe you heard about the fake prom in Indiana? Well, that was me. It was truly awful in every way."

She could do this.

"I was feeling sorry for myself, but then after talking with some friends I decided to take all this awfulness and maybe make something good out of it. So I wrote this song for all the people out there, who just love someone in a way the rest of the world can't understand."

If not for herself, then for all the kids like her.

"I'm sure we all have stories to tell. Here's mine."

For Alyssa.

**Author's Note:**

> OUCH AM I RIGHT???


End file.
